“The time has come,” the walrus said, “to talk of many things…”

Philosophical thoughts on life, the universe, and everything.

Castles in the Air April 4, 2008

Filed under: boyfriend,Life — ithewalrus @ 4:10 pm

I long to taste adventure like the nature of the sea,
Always moving, always hiding all the creatures from beneath.
Singing silent songs of sadness my heart waits for its chance,
To dance upon the ashes of my burned up little plans.

And I stand alone before the night.
My nakedness is so clear in the glow of the moonlight.
Life is old but so short.
We are young, we want more.

I’m drowning, but I don’t care,
‘Cause when you got what I got, what I got
Who needs air?
I don’t need air.

My addiction to danger like the rush of the sea,
Like a wave on the rocks the lessons crash down on me.
I don’t need to prove the world to you only to myself.
So step back and look away as I dive into the swell.

I’m drowning, but I don’t care,
‘Cause when you got what I got, what I got
Who needs air?

So take me down to the river like a little child,
And take my hand and tell me it’s okay to be wild.
I never knew the world until I saw through your eyes,
I never knew myself until I ripped off my disguise
(I ripped off my disguise).

I’m drowning, but I don’t care,
‘Cause when you got what I got, what I got
Who needs air?

I’m drowning, but I don’t care,
‘Cause when you got what I got, what I got
Who needs air?
(I have come to the realization that life is more than what I have accomplished.
And life is more then the realization that we have accomplished nothing at all.)

I’m drowning, but I don’t care,
‘Cause when you got what I got, what I got
I don’t need air
(True success is so selfless so drown in the lyrics
of your life and give up the air that you breathe.
You don’t need anything. You don’t need anything.)

I don’t need air

Who Needs Air by The Classic Crime

That song builds my castles in the air.  (Also, oddly enough, I have a bad habit of imagining melodys to lyrics…the melody for this song matched what I had imagined.  Random Fact!)

I don’t know if it’s the tune or what that’s making me all air-castley.

In other news, I need to write a poem soon, for this poetry publishing thing…the people are all like “you’re an amazing poet! write a poem especially for our anthology!” I totally don’t believe that they actually like my poem that much, they just want me to write something to fill up their anthology. Oh well, I need another poem anyways for a more legit poetry competition. (Length limits on poems aggravate me. “Oh yes you can only have a 20-line poem.” Well, it just so happens that my best poem is about 70 lines long! Heh. I’ll post it here someday, it needs inventive spacing though which I don’t think is wordpress-friendly.)

In other other news, messenger and long distance relationships are both lame. I saw my boyfriend for the first time in four months on Saturday, and I don’t feel like I saw him at all. But I miss him more now b/c I did see him, even though it doesn’t feel like I did. It’s rather like a paradox.

I think that’s it.


Poetic math? February 6, 2008

Filed under: Life — ithewalrus @ 10:24 pm

I’m beginning to do my research for my Chaos Theory report…and the thing that really strikes me about the things I’m reading is how poetic they are.

More later, I have notecards to do.


Soooooo stressed February 5, 2008

Filed under: Life,Stress — ithewalrus @ 9:41 pm

My family is remodeling a house right by the banks of a river. Three weeks ago, that house was flooded for the first time ever. We’ve just gotten it all dried out and everything.

Well, now guess what?

That river is flooding again.

My sources aren’t telling me whether or not our particular area is being flooded, which is exasperating and frightening. We don’t have the money to dry it out again — it cost $5000 last time. Chances are that if it’s flooded again, I might not get to go to the college I want. And, I mean, what people are saying right now, it doesn’t look like the flooding’s going to get to our house…but I really just want to know….that would be much more comforting than this eternal insecurity. Places over there were evacuated this morning and it’s still pouring….we just went through this! Why is it happening again??? I could kill something, really I could!! We just put new wallpaper up, and molding, and….and……aaaaaahhh!!!

And then I have 20 bazillion things to do for school…a quiz and a test tomorrow, three quizzes on Friday, orchestra practice tomorrow, tons of homework…5 hours’ worth of project due Friday, haven’t started on that yet (haven’t had TIME!!).

I need to sleep for a week. (I’ve been up until three the past few nights, even more stress!)


Why I Put Up With The Fact That I Haven’t Seen My Boyfriend In Over Two Months:

Filed under: boyfriend,Life,love — ithewalrus @ 12:36 am

Josh: hey
Jessie: yeah?
Josh: I have a secret, u wanna here it?
Josh: course you do
Jessie: sure
Josh: I can fly
Slightly later…
Josh: oy, I really am going to bed
Josh: but!
Jessie: what?
Josh: I really can fly…

He’s the best. I know, that’s such a nerdy reason for him to be termed the best, but he told me all about these cool places he’s been to (the center of the earth, etc.) and it was really cool.


A strange kind of hopelessness… February 3, 2008

Filed under: boyfriend,Life,love — ithewalrus @ 1:37 am
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I’ve completely given up on the idea of the boyfriend doing anything spectacular at all for Valentine’s Day.  It’s just not going to happen…I’ve accepted that by now.  Ah well, things like that happen.  I figure, “This isn’t typical by any means…why should I ask him to do a typical thing?”  Ideally, he would do something on some completely random day to make up for missing my birthday, but I highly doubt this will happen either.So after Jacob, I was pretty spoiled; after Josh, I’ll be devoid of all expectations.  If, indeed, there is an after Josh.  I’m SO glad he doesn’t actually read this (although, he does have the link) because he would completely flip out!However!!!!  I have been given permission  to plan stuff for him for valentine’s day.  So, being the highly unique and creative person that I am, I have come up with a two-part plan:1. Give him a snake valentine.  Haha this doesn’t make sense, you’ll just have to see it to believe it.Hissing ValentineSo. There happens to be an amazing store that sells every stuffed animal imaginable. I’m going to buy a snake that looks like the one in the picture, arrange it like that, put the picture in with it, and send the whole thing off to him in the box.2. I’m going to buy him a domain name for his website. Currently it’s 25set.netfirms.com but I’m going to buy him one so it’ll just be 25set.com. I don’t know if he’ll be excited or not. I hope so.Well that’s all I have at the moment! 


Research paper January 22, 2008

Filed under: Life — ithewalrus @ 8:16 pm
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So it’s that time….the time when I get to write a research paper.  I’m actually kinda excited — yes, I know, I’m ridiculous, but I am! — because I enjoy writing papers and I’m really super excited about my research subject…chaos theory.Here’s the proposal I sent to my teacher:

  Is it possible for math to have a theological impact?  Thanks to an obscure theory, the answer appears to be yes.  Chaos Theory describes a mathematical phenomenon that can best be described as “unpredictable predictability.”   It occurs in mathematical functions that seem to be random but, in reality, are deterministic.  Chaos Theory, a newly popular theory, has an extremely wide range of applications, including applications in climatology, psychology, chemistry, astronomy, economy, physics, biology, meteorology, and even theology.  So far, Chaos Theory has been applied only to Pantheism and the New Age Movement.  I would like to research the theological implications of Chaos Theory, especially as it relates to the different schools of Calvinism and Arminianism and their views of predestination.   

I’m really excited about this whole thing.  The hilarious thing about it is that my teacher was all like “hey I don’t want you to get all caught up in the New Age movement and all that…” Which, I mean, it’s nice of her to be concerned and all that, but I….there is seriously no way that that would happen.  I am about as reverse of New Age as they come.  Plus I learned loads about that kind of thing over the summer when I took a summer class on “God, Humanity, and Knowledge.”
In other news, I’ve heard back from Taylor’s admissions about going to Purdue.  They say it’s OK as long as I get some stuff signed and keep a 3.2 GPA in my college classes….shouldn’t be that bad.
That’s about it. 

Christian Schoolkid Inside Joke January 4, 2008

Filed under: Life,Politics — ithewalrus @ 4:32 am
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To prove his conservative credentials, Romney recently snagged the coveted endorsements of movement guru Paul Weyrich and evangelist leader Bob Jones III. All indications are that Romney is not being thrown over for Rudy Giuliani, who is leading in the national polls for the GOP nominations, or conservative insurgent Mike Huckabee.  (from somewhere on foxnews.com)

Most of you know, I’m sure, that Romney is a Mormon.  However, what some of you may not know is that Bob Jones III is a die-hard Southern Baptist who is in charge of Bob Jones University.  Bob Jones University is notorious in Christian high schools (at least some of them, anyways) for being ridiculously strict as well as rigidly Baptist.  
My question is this:  what on earth is Bob Jones doing supporting a Mormon?  It’s hilarious!
And, like I said, nobody’s going to get this.
In other news, I’m excited that Huckabee managed to get Iowa.  I’m excited about his prospects, and hopeful that he might be able to win the Presidency, perhaps?  Although his win in Iowa is rather shocking, as I’d expected people to be tired of conservatism (?) under Bush.  (I’m actually a huge supporter of Bush as well, although — like everyone else on this planet — he makes mistakes.)  I’m also ecstatic that Hillary got third in the Democrat polls.  I don’t favor any of her stances on issues, and think that most of them would be bad for the country.