I have a physics exam tomorrow.
I distinctly do not like physics.
Therefore I am currently the unhappy version of Jessie.
The end.
Jr-Sr May 9, 2008
So the Jr/Sr Banquet is today, which is awesome. My boyfriend (eeee!!!) is driving here from Taylor, also awesome. Perhaps awesomer? I really really love my dress this year. It’s green with black straps and a black sash….it looks really refined and stuff.
It’s hard waiting. The banquet doesn’t start until 6. Josh will be here at 4 at the absolute earliest, and it’s 3 at the moment…I’ll probably start putting dress on when he gets here, b/c right now I’m just wearing pyjamas, which is highly awesome and relaxing. And just think! My sister is still at school. My hairdresser also did my makeup after she was done with my hair. It turned out really well — I basically never do makeup and it was seriously cool to have someone else do it for me, altho I think my hair is already starting to come out.
Castles in the Air April 4, 2008
I long to taste adventure like the nature of the sea,
Always moving, always hiding all the creatures from beneath.
Singing silent songs of sadness my heart waits for its chance,
To dance upon the ashes of my burned up little plans.And I stand alone before the night.
My nakedness is so clear in the glow of the moonlight.
Life is old but so short.
We are young, we want more.I’m drowning, but I don’t care,
‘Cause when you got what I got, what I got
Who needs air?
I don’t need air.My addiction to danger like the rush of the sea,
Like a wave on the rocks the lessons crash down on me.
I don’t need to prove the world to you only to myself.
So step back and look away as I dive into the swell.I’m drowning, but I don’t care,
‘Cause when you got what I got, what I got
Who needs air?So take me down to the river like a little child,
And take my hand and tell me it’s okay to be wild.
I never knew the world until I saw through your eyes,
I never knew myself until I ripped off my disguise
(I ripped off my disguise).I’m drowning, but I don’t care,
‘Cause when you got what I got, what I got
Who needs air?I’m drowning, but I don’t care,
‘Cause when you got what I got, what I got
Who needs air?
(I have come to the realization that life is more than what I have accomplished.
And life is more then the realization that we have accomplished nothing at all.)I’m drowning, but I don’t care,
‘Cause when you got what I got, what I got
I don’t need air
(True success is so selfless so drown in the lyrics
of your life and give up the air that you breathe.
You don’t need anything. You don’t need anything.)I don’t need air
Who Needs Air by The Classic Crime
That song builds my castles in the air. (Also, oddly enough, I have a bad habit of imagining melodys to lyrics…the melody for this song matched what I had imagined. Random Fact!)
I don’t know if it’s the tune or what that’s making me all air-castley.
In other news, I need to write a poem soon, for this poetry publishing thing…the people are all like “you’re an amazing poet! write a poem especially for our anthology!” I totally don’t believe that they actually like my poem that much, they just want me to write something to fill up their anthology. Oh well, I need another poem anyways for a more legit poetry competition. (Length limits on poems aggravate me. “Oh yes you can only have a 20-line poem.” Well, it just so happens that my best poem is about 70 lines long! Heh. I’ll post it here someday, it needs inventive spacing though which I don’t think is wordpress-friendly.)
In other other news, messenger and long distance relationships are both lame. I saw my boyfriend for the first time in four months on Saturday, and I don’t feel like I saw him at all. But I miss him more now b/c I did see him, even though it doesn’t feel like I did. It’s rather like a paradox.
I think that’s it.
Visit March 30, 2008
So my boyfriend came to visit and left about an hour and a half ago. I feel almost like he was never actually here…I hadn’t seen him in about four months and he was here for a bit more than 24 hours and I don’t know when I’ll see him next. It’s really hard, actually. I know we’re both just teens or whatever, but it still hurts and it still makes me mad. Gah. Well, now he has his truck with him, that should help things a bit. Maybe. He doesn’t have a lot of free time…
I feel like I should write more about what the visit was but I’m too sad, I think. Maybe later.
Reaching New Heights February 17, 2008
If you’re reading this blog and go to my school, go away. This is classified information.
I’ve been asked to write the opening essay for my school’s yearbook. The theme is Reaching New Heights. And…..I have no idea what to write about. I’ve tried a couple of things — you know, the verse that’s all like “He will raise them up like eagles, they will walk and not grow weary, they will run and not grow faint”…I thought about doing something with that. I thought about talking about how I was on the walking track above the gym in our brand-new community center. I actually tried writing that one. It sounded stupid. I’m currently thinking about writing about the recent flood, and how the water reached new heights…I may end up putting that in there.
I really don’t know. It’s exasperating me.
Ideas, anyone?
Music and Sr. Pics February 10, 2008
Okay, so I’m going to write about stuff in the order of the title, because I don’t really have any other ideas…DISCLAIMER: I’m sick. Stuff I say might not make sense, cause it’s so weird to be this sick because I hardly ever am. (Sore throat [I just tried to spell that “throught” twice….heh], cough, runny nose…I had a fever yesterday…I don’t actually even remember the last time I was actually sick, not just faking to get out of school. Which happens maybe once a year, people, I am responsible!!)
Hmm. Music? Okay. My mom is a music professor, so I naturally grew up with a lot of music. However, after getting out of the kiddie music stage, all my music was classical…yes, nerdship for the win. (I actually remember being in 6th grade and yelling at the bus driver to turn on the classical station…on a high school bus. Yeah that didn’t go over so well.) Then I started branching out. Moody Blues were my favorite for about two years (there was one super trippy song on the CD I had of them that went around your head in circles when you had earphones on…Beyond, I believe. I always skipped it.) and then I moved on to bigger and better (ahem) things. Starting with 38th parallel, because the blog of my friend Michael had one of their songs on it. And then I was like “oh what the heck” and bought Relient K “two lefts don’t make a right…but three do” and Audio Adrenaline (not remembering the album title, I didn’t like that one very much) and MxPx “Panic”…and things just kind of went from there. (Wow I reallllly feel congested right now. It’s gotten to that state where you just have to wave your hands around to help…? Altho this logical leap makes about no sense. Please tell me I’m not the only one who does this…) From there, my fascination went Petra –> Third Day –> Relient K (again, I Sanctus Real –> whatever I heard on the amazing Christian radio station that has 0!! commercials for REAL and plays the best music EVER –> now, Wavorly, Starfield, Rush of Fools (saw them in concert, best band EVAR, lead singer = very cute!!), Poor Baker’s Dozen (don’t go looking for their stuff, you won’t find it, I’ve looked everywhere…they’re gone. My mom had one CD.), Britt Nicole. Pretty exclusively Christian. But now I’ve decided that I like music that I term….artistic. In other words…music that isn’t explicitly Christian *gasp*. Examples: Sleeping at Last, Eisley (reeeally weird sound, check them out), Holidays on Ice. (These would probably be termed Indie. I’m not sure. But I think I do like that Indie sound…) Plus the non-Christian-and-non-artistic-but-just-plain-fun songs that I happen to have: London Calling (the Clash), How Far We’ve Come (Matchbox 20), I Like To Move It Move It (Madagascar soundtrack).
I think it’s really fascinating to see how my music tastes have changed over the years. I love the iTunes store — I got a free download today and can’t wait to download other free ones. I love music. There’s no way I could live without it. And it’s been really fun exploring the different genres over the years. (I think I might even have an industrial metal song…err…instrumental…thing in my iTunes somewhere, thanks to a guy in CO that I know over internets. Not my favorite thing in the world, lol…never will I be a metal fan. [Haha the illness again…as I typed that, I was like “wait a second…I can’t become a fan!” thinking you know of like a ceiling fan…? Yeah I’m having issues.])
This is easily one of the most rambley things I’ve written for a while, it’s fun. (AHH sinus painnnn!!!)
Pictures. I need to get senior pictures taken soon. After all, I am a senior in high school and that makes me 1. awesome; 2. senioritis-prone; and 3. in need of my picture taken professionally-ish. However, due to a remodeling project my family is doing, we don’t have near enough money to pay for an actual professional. This is very sad. 😦 BUT!!!!! The amazing boyfriend, who is, in a word, amazing, and fabulouth, and all that cool stuff, is going to buy himself a very very nice and shiny DSLR camera. So he’s going to take my picture for sr. pictures. He’s way cool like that.
ok I’m done. I’m tired and very sick (CONGESTION!!!) and need to sleep…and it’s almost 1AM. Gah.
Poetic math? February 6, 2008
I’m beginning to do my research for my Chaos Theory report…and the thing that really strikes me about the things I’m reading is how poetic they are.
More later, I have notecards to do.
Soooooo stressed February 5, 2008
My family is remodeling a house right by the banks of a river. Three weeks ago, that house was flooded for the first time ever. We’ve just gotten it all dried out and everything.
Well, now guess what?
That river is flooding again.
My sources aren’t telling me whether or not our particular area is being flooded, which is exasperating and frightening. We don’t have the money to dry it out again — it cost $5000 last time. Chances are that if it’s flooded again, I might not get to go to the college I want. And, I mean, what people are saying right now, it doesn’t look like the flooding’s going to get to our house…but I really just want to know….that would be much more comforting than this eternal insecurity. Places over there were evacuated this morning and it’s still pouring….we just went through this! Why is it happening again??? I could kill something, really I could!! We just put new wallpaper up, and molding, and….and……aaaaaahhh!!!
And then I have 20 bazillion things to do for school…a quiz and a test tomorrow, three quizzes on Friday, orchestra practice tomorrow, tons of homework…5 hours’ worth of project due Friday, haven’t started on that yet (haven’t had TIME!!).
I need to sleep for a week. (I’ve been up until three the past few nights, even more stress!)
"The time has come," the walrus said, "to talk of many things..." 