“The time has come,” the walrus said, “to talk of many things…”

Philosophical thoughts on life, the universe, and everything.

Reaching New Heights February 17, 2008

Filed under: Uncategorized — ithewalrus @ 1:14 pm

If you’re reading this blog and go to my school, go away. This is classified information.

I’ve been asked to write the opening essay for my school’s yearbook. The theme is Reaching New Heights. And…..I have no idea what to write about. I’ve tried a couple of things — you know, the verse that’s all like “He will raise them up like eagles, they will walk and not grow weary, they will run and not grow faint”…I thought about doing something with that. I thought about talking about how I was on the walking track above the gym in our brand-new community center. I actually tried writing that one. It sounded stupid. I’m currently thinking about writing about the recent flood, and how the water reached new heights…I may end up putting that in there.

I really don’t know. It’s exasperating me.

Ideas, anyone?


Music and Sr. Pics February 10, 2008

Okay, so I’m going to write about stuff in the order of the title, because I don’t really have any other ideas…DISCLAIMER: I’m sick. Stuff I say might not make sense, cause it’s so weird to be this sick because I hardly ever am. (Sore throat [I just tried to spell that “throught” twice….heh], cough, runny nose…I had a fever yesterday…I don’t actually even remember the last time I was actually sick, not just faking to get out of school. Which happens maybe once a year, people, I am responsible!!)

Hmm. Music? Okay. My mom is a music professor, so I naturally grew up with a lot of music. However, after getting out of the kiddie music stage, all my music was classical…yes, nerdship for the win. (I actually remember being in 6th grade and yelling at the bus driver to turn on the classical station…on a high school bus. Yeah that didn’t go over so well.) Then I started branching out. Moody Blues were my favorite for about two years (there was one super trippy song on the CD I had of them that went around your head in circles when you had earphones on…Beyond, I believe. I always skipped it.) and then I moved on to bigger and better (ahem) things. Starting with 38th parallel, because the blog of my friend Michael had one of their songs on it. And then I was like “oh what the heck” and bought Relient K “two lefts don’t make a right…but three do” and Audio Adrenaline (not remembering the album title, I didn’t like that one very much) and MxPx “Panic”…and things just kind of went from there. (Wow I reallllly feel congested right now. It’s gotten to that state where you just have to wave your hands around to help…? Altho this logical leap makes about no sense. Please tell me I’m not the only one who does this…) From there, my fascination went Petra –> Third Day –> Relient K (again, I Sanctus Real –> whatever I heard on the amazing Christian radio station that has 0!! commercials for REAL and plays the best music EVER –> now, Wavorly, Starfield, Rush of Fools (saw them in concert, best band EVAR, lead singer = very cute!!), Poor Baker’s Dozen (don’t go looking for their stuff, you won’t find it, I’ve looked everywhere…they’re gone. My mom had one CD.), Britt Nicole. Pretty exclusively Christian. But now I’ve decided that I like music that I term….artistic. In other words…music that isn’t explicitly Christian *gasp*. Examples: Sleeping at Last, Eisley (reeeally weird sound, check them out), Holidays on Ice. (These would probably be termed Indie. I’m not sure. But I think I do like that Indie sound…) Plus the non-Christian-and-non-artistic-but-just-plain-fun songs that I happen to have: London Calling (the Clash), How Far We’ve Come (Matchbox 20), I Like To Move It Move It (Madagascar soundtrack).

I think it’s really fascinating to see how my music tastes have changed over the years. I love the iTunes store — I got a free download today and can’t wait to download other free ones. I love music. There’s no way I could live without it. And it’s been really fun exploring the different genres over the years. (I think I might even have an industrial metal song…err…instrumental…thing in my iTunes somewhere, thanks to a guy in CO that I know over internets. Not my favorite thing in the world, lol…never will I be a metal fan. [Haha the illness again…as I typed that, I was like “wait a second…I can’t become a fan!” thinking you know of like a ceiling fan…? Yeah I’m having issues.])

This is easily one of the most rambley things I’ve written for a while, it’s fun. (AHH sinus painnnn!!!)

Pictures. I need to get senior pictures taken soon. After all, I am a senior in high school and that makes me 1. awesome; 2. senioritis-prone; and 3. in need of my picture taken professionally-ish. However, due to a remodeling project my family is doing, we don’t have near enough money to pay for an actual professional. This is very sad. ūüė¶ BUT!!!!! The amazing boyfriend, who is, in a word, amazing, and fabulouth, and all that cool stuff, is going to buy himself a very very nice and shiny DSLR camera. So he’s going to take my picture for sr. pictures. He’s way cool like that.

ok I’m done. I’m tired and very sick (CONGESTION!!!) and need to sleep…and it’s almost 1AM. Gah.


Poetic math? February 6, 2008

Filed under: Life — ithewalrus @ 10:24 pm

I’m beginning to do my research for my Chaos Theory report…and the thing that really strikes me about the things I’m reading is how poetic they are.

More later, I have notecards to do.


Soooooo stressed February 5, 2008

Filed under: Life,Stress — ithewalrus @ 9:41 pm

My family is remodeling a house right by the banks of a river. Three weeks ago, that house was flooded for the first time ever. We’ve just gotten it all dried out and everything.

Well, now guess what?

That river is flooding again.

My sources aren’t telling me whether or not our particular area is being flooded, which is exasperating and frightening. We don’t have the money to dry it out again — it cost $5000 last time. Chances are that if it’s flooded again, I might not get to go to the college I want. And, I mean, what people are saying right now, it doesn’t look like the flooding’s going to get to our house…but I really just want to know….that would be much more comforting than this eternal insecurity. Places over there were evacuated this morning and it’s still pouring….we just went through this! Why is it happening again??? I could kill something, really I could!! We just put new wallpaper up, and molding, and….and……aaaaaahhh!!!

And then I have 20 bazillion things to do for school…a quiz and a test tomorrow, three quizzes on Friday, orchestra practice tomorrow, tons of homework…5 hours’ worth of project due Friday, haven’t started on that yet (haven’t had TIME!!).

I need to sleep for a week. (I’ve been up until three the past few nights, even more stress!)


Why I Put Up With The Fact That I Haven’t Seen My Boyfriend In Over Two Months:

Filed under: boyfriend,Life,love — ithewalrus @ 12:36 am

Josh: hey
Jessie: yeah?
Josh: I have a secret, u wanna here it?
Josh: course you do
Jessie: sure
Josh: I can fly
Slightly later…
Josh: oy, I really am going to bed
Josh: but!
Jessie: what?
Josh: I really can fly…

He’s the best. I know, that’s such a nerdy reason for him to be termed the best, but he told me all about these cool places he’s been to (the center of the earth, etc.) and it was really cool.


A strange kind of hopelessness… February 3, 2008

Filed under: boyfriend,Life,love — ithewalrus @ 1:37 am
Tags: , , , ,

I’ve completely given up on the idea of the boyfriend doing anything spectacular at all for Valentine’s Day. ¬†It’s just not going to happen…I’ve accepted that by now. ¬†Ah well, things like that happen. ¬†I figure, “This isn’t typical by any means…why should I ask him to do a typical thing?” ¬†Ideally, he would do something on some completely random day to make up for missing my birthday, but I highly doubt this will happen either.So after Jacob, I was pretty spoiled; after Josh, I’ll be devoid of all expectations. ¬†If, indeed, there is an after Josh. ¬†I’m SO glad he doesn’t actually read this (although, he does have the link) because he would completely flip out!However!!!! ¬†I have been given permission ¬†to plan stuff for him for valentine’s day. ¬†So, being the highly unique and creative person that I am, I have come up with a two-part plan:1. Give him a snake valentine. ¬†Haha this doesn’t make sense, you’ll just have to see it to believe it.Hissing¬†ValentineSo. There happens to be an amazing store that sells every stuffed animal imaginable. I’m going to buy a snake that looks like the one in the picture, arrange it like that, put the picture in with it, and send the whole thing off to him in the box.2. I’m going to buy him a domain name for his website. Currently it’s 25set.netfirms.com but I’m going to buy him one so it’ll just be 25set.com. I don’t know if he’ll be excited or not. I hope so.Well that’s all I have at the moment!¬†


Argument February 1, 2008

Filed under: boyfriend — ithewalrus @ 11:30 pm

I had an argument with my boyfriend last night. ¬†It was one of those confusing, ridiculous arguments…you know, the kind where you have no idea what’s going on…here’s the major part of it.¬†¬†

¬†Josh says: (12:38:06 AM)i’m being really laid back about things, but i guess that hurts ppl, so i’ll start doing things? hopefully? or something like that…|¬†

macilwen says: (12:38:59 AM)lol yeah it kinda shows a pretty extraordinarily large amount of cluelessness (in relationships at least)|

Josh says: (12:39:14 AM)RELATIONSHIP!!!!

Josh says: (12:39:17 AM)what!

Josh says: (12:39:25 AM)clueless

Josh says: (12:39:27 AM)…

macilwen says: (12:39:28 AM)what’d I do????????

Josh says: (12:39:44 AM)who cares what RELATIONSHIP is!

macilwen says: (12:40:09 AM)CONFUSION!!!!!!!! and redness of face!

Josh says: (12:40:21 AM)relationships, what is that?

Josh says: (12:40:24 AM)idk

Josh says: (12:40:27 AM)u don’t know

macilwen says: (12:40:35 AM)josh

Josh says: (12:40:39 AM)we make it up as we go along


I had gotten really annoyed at him for 1. “forgetting” to do anything for my 18th; 2. not taking the idea of valentine’s day seriously; and 3. disappearing at random moments. ¬†(He’s disappeared right now actually, his MSN thing says he’s online but he’s apparently not there. Actually, now he’s offline completely…) I ended up kind of ranting…I’m not one to say what I really feel at people, especially when I think that it might upset them, which is why I haven’t bugged Josh more about stuff. ¬†He took me by surprise by the above. ¬†It was definitely really unlike him to explode like that…but I’m glad he did. ¬†¬†He later explained that he reacted so violently because what he expects of me is for me to be myself, and he thought that I wasn’t being myself when I said things like that. ¬†He’s so weird and incomprehensible sometimes…but at the same time, he makes a ton of sense. ¬†“we make it up as we go along” — I love¬†that!¬†So yes, that’s my life.¬†